I have my own personal interest in the matter. Sir Mix A lot raps that some girls have an L.A face, but an Oakland bootie. This is my fate. It’s called having an hour-glass figure – narrow, high waist and a full hip, thigh and, well, you know. The junk in the trunk. No matter how much weight I lose, I cannot lose my caboose.

I have no problem shelling out over $100 for a pair of jeans that fit properly. I have special ordered from online sites to get the correct length and rise. I have scoured through thrift stores to get a bargain. And here Marie Claire said that not only were the Old Navy Sweetheart skinny jeans the best on nearly every body type, but that they were also reasonably priced at $29.50, came in three colors and also three lengths?! Did I mention they also came in an equally affordable and great fitting bootcut as well?  At first I dismissed this. I remember buying Old Navy jeans when I was in high school. They weren’t that great. The fit was odd, you nearly always had to go up a size, and if the butt didn’t get stretched out and sag, then the back pockets literally began to rip away from the rest of the pant.

Eventually I broke down as one of my favorite pairs of jeans finally had its last hoorah. I went into the remodeled Old Navy in the mall, and checking to make sure no one saw me, headed to the fitting room with a gigantic stack of denim in my hands. I ended up buying four pairs – dark rinse, a medium rinse and a gray in the skinny leg and a pair of dark rinse bootcut. At 5 ft 10 inches, I needed the long length, which is not that common for me, but the size I generally take fit automatically. I didn’t need to try on more than one size in each rinse. The other fits – the rockstar and diva – did not have the same uniformity of fit or length. Sometimes I couldn’t get the pant leg past my thigh, sometimes the pant leg on a regular length fit more like a crop pant.

What I liked about the sweetheart skinny (and bootcut), was that the waist came to the natural waist. There was no muffin top; the tummy stays put. The skinny leg is slim on the thigh, but not so tight legs look like denim covered sausages. The washes are also flattering to figures large and small, any whiskering is done tastefully. The best part is that they look, feel and fit like a more expensive pant. After almost two months of wash and wear, they have kept their color and their fit.

So, ultimately it comes down to the bottom line. While not the best jean ever created, I would give the Old Navy sweetheart skinny jeans a solid endorsement. Old Navy often misses the mark when it comes to fashion, quality or fit, but when they do something right, it is often also highly affordable. Out of the entire denim line, these were the most consistent and the best fit. And I love them. They fit where they must with no gapping in the back and look great paired with blouses, sweaters or tees. So what if they aren’t designer! Fit is everything.

It was fate that morning. I went into Joseph A Banks, a premier suiting store for men, and I saw you while shopping for my father and my boyfriend. They would not care for you at all. Your wooden buttons and itchy merino wool are not their thing. After all, they wouldn’t be caught dead in the sort of cardigan my great-uncle would wear while he smoked unfiltered cigarettes outside on my grandmother’s porch. Not even the very young and very stylish men I work with in the mall would have you.

But my dear, we have always had a secret love affair. I remember being a young girl, taller and heavier then many others. And your kind were always there for me. When a woman’s sweater would not, despite the most ardent pulling and pushing, fall past my waistband, there you were. And later, when I wanted to belt a sweater over a pair of leggings on the snowiest of winter mornings, there you were. And even when I lost the weight, a man’s sweater always seemed warmer, thicker… somehow more… loving. Because you were comfy. Because you were longer. It wasn’t because you belonged somehow to a man in my life; I’ve been single and still in love with your brothers.

I will not mention that when I found you, you were on sale. That would only cheapen our romance. Yes, there was a buy two get two free sale, and I was able to steal you away for free. And yes, I had wanted you to be gray, not navy. But like all great romances, you unexpectedly stole my heart away. We’ve had great times – like the time I wore you over my burgundy pencil skirt with that fun mustard belt and brown boots. Or when I left you open over a floral blouse and my cuffed boyfriend jeans. You never fight with my fleece lined sperries, crucial if we are to make it past Christmas. I was teased when I came home with you, but you have valiantly proved your detractors wrong. A woman can wear you and remain feminine.

And most importantly, warm. You provide me the comfort and warmth of any of my boyfriend’s sweaters, without me having to take his clothes. By simply being there, you keep us from fighting over  who gets to wear the warmest clothes on the coldest days. It might be said that you keep the peace.

I love you, oh dearest sweater of mine.

Sincerely,
Ellie